Trump and Xi Sat Down Over Trade. The Mail Diagnosed a Stroke From a Handhold.

Xi Jinping, China's leader, landed in Washington on Wednesday. On the table: trade, chips, AI, Taiwan, Iran. The stuff that decides what your phone and your petrol cost.

The Daily Mail spotted something else. Xi held his wife's hand coming down the plane stairs. The headline: "Xi Jinping is hit with fresh online health rumours as video shows him 'forcefully grabbing' wife's hand while exiting plane."

The diagnosis comes from an exiled Chinese opposition activist posting on X. Not from a doctor who has examined Xi. "Xi Jinping's symptoms clearly indicate the aftereffects of a stroke," he wrote. The Mail also printed an anonymous user wondering if Xi was "on a sedative." Dr X will see you now.

The best bit is further down. The Mail tells you that last week's viral "health scare" turned out to be a broken earpiece. That was when India's prime minister stopped a speech to check on Xi. So rumour one was a gadget. Rumour two is holding hands with your wife. We look forward to rumour three: Xi yawned.

To be fair, there's real reporting in the mix. The Mail cites the Wall Street Journal, which reported Xi skipped a dinner in India the week before because he was unwell. That's a fact with a source. A man holding his wife's hand on some steps is not.

And the actual summit? Iran, AI and Taiwan get a few lines at the very bottom of the article. They come after the stroke theory, and after a paragraph about Vladimir Putin chatting about living forever.

A world leader's health can be news. But in our view, when two superpowers sit down over the price of almost everything you buy, "man holds wife's hand" doesn't need a second opinion.