Apple sued OpenAI on Friday night, and the framing wrote itself: the two biggest names in tech, finally in open court. Every headline reached for the same movie poster. CNN went with "Apple accuses OpenAI of using stolen trade secrets to create its upcoming AI gadgets in new lawsuit." Bloomberg filed it as "Apple Sues OpenAI for Trade Secret Theft Over AI Hardware Designs." Logo versus logo. Godzilla versus Kong, with billable hours. * Here's the thing about that poster: Godzilla can't be deposed. Scroll to paragraph four of CNN's story and you meet the actual defendants: "The suit names OpenAI; OpenAI's Chang Liu, a former Apple engineer, and OpenAI hardware chief Tang Tan, who previously led iPhone and Apple Watch product design." Two human beings, sued personally in federal court, introduced like supporting cast. * And the allegations are strikingly human-sized. Per CNN, Apple says Liu "failed to return a work-issued laptop and also gained access to a former colleague's work computer after leaving the company," and that Tan told job candidates to bring Apple parts along to interviews. That's not Ocean's Eleven. That's a guy with a laptop he should have given back. * The corporations themselves, meanwhile, spoke exclusively in beige. Apple: protecting its work is "something we take very seriously." OpenAI: "We have no interest in other companies' trade secrets." The logos exchanged press releases. The engineers got their names on a federal docket. * We get why the marquee says Apple v. OpenAI — that's the fight people buy tickets to, and the fate of the next gadget in your pocket really is somewhere in the case file. But the companies will do what companies do: settle, cross-license, or quietly drop it in eighteen months. * The two names in paragraph four don't get to do that. They get lawyers, discovery, and their career choices read aloud in court. When giants fight, check the billing order — the titans are on the poster, and the people are in the fine print.