As of Sunday, Yulia Svyrydenko is no longer Ukraine's prime minister. That one sentence is the entire factual core of the story — and roughly the last thing the world's newsrooms agree on. * Reuters: "Ukraine's Zelenskiy dismisses Prime Minister Svyrydenko after only a year." Dismisses. That's a firing. Zelenskyy holds the axe, she carries the box with the desk plant, and "after only a year" hangs off the end like a bad performance review. * AP: "Ukraine's prime minister steps down as Zelenskyy announces government reshuffle." Steps down! Her idea now. By AP's first paragraph, Zelenskyy has "offered a new and important position to the former premier" — less an axe, more a promotion with a bow on it. * Al Jazeera: "Ukraine's Zelenskyy announces cabinet reshuffle, replaces PM Svyrydenko." In this one she's barely a person — she's a component. You replace a dishwasher. * The best part: Reuters' own article can't quite keep up with its own headline. Its first line says Zelenskyy "planned to replace" her, "triggering the resignation of the government" — so inside the story she resigns, but up in the headline she's dismissed. Somewhere between paragraph one and the big font, the verb got a field promotion. * None of these are fake, that's what makes it fun. Power really moved, she really is out, and there really is a new job floating around — one opposition lawmaker told Reuters she's likely headed to Washington as ambassador. But "dismissed," "steps down" and "replaces" are three different physics of the same event: who pushed, who jumped, who was furniture. You didn't read three stories today. You read one story wearing three verbs.