The US bombed Iran for a fifth straight night, and by early Thursday the strikes had reached areas around Tehran for the first time. Iran answered with missiles and drones at Kuwait, Bahrain and Jordan. One night, two militaries, a lot of ordnance. That's the event. Now watch who actually commits the violence in each outlet's headline — because it's a different country every time you switch tabs. * Fox's live page: "Iran threatens to lash out at Arab neighbors as US ramps up strikes." Read those verbs again. Iran "lashes out" — the verb of a toddler who missed nap time. The US "ramps up" — the verb of a factory beating its quarterly targets. One country is menacing its neighbors; the other is just... increasing productivity. On night five of American bombs falling on Iranian soil, the aggressor in Fox's headline is the country being bombed. * Now open Al Jazeera, same night: "US launches new attacks on Iran as Tehran targets Gulf sites." Mirror world. Here it's the US that "launches attacks" — full violence, named author — while Iran's missiles and drones merely "target sites," which sounds less like a barrage aimed at three countries hosting US troops and more like a marketing team picking demographics. Same night, same ordnance, opposite villain. * And NBC? It ran the AP wire version, and AP fired the villain entirely: "U.S. expands strikes into northern Iran and disables ship trying to run blockade." "Expands" — a coffee chain entering a promising new region. "Disables" — and here's what "disables" means when you get to paragraph 13: a US aircraft fired a missile into a merchant tanker's smokestack. Has your mechanic ever disabled anything that way? * The humans turn up one paragraph later. Iranian state TV says a US strike on a barracks killed seven soldiers, conscripts among them — that claim comes with the "state TV says" tag it deserves, but note where it lives: paragraph 14. On the night the war reached Tehran's suburbs, the dead lost the headline slot to a boat's exhaust pipe. * Nobody here is asking for a headline that reads "villain confirmed." Attribution is genuinely hard mid-war, and wire desks are writing at 4am. But you can read three headlines about the same night and walk away with three different wars: one where Iran menaces the Gulf, one where America attacks and Iran does target practice, and one where nobody does anything at all except a boat that wouldn't pull over. The bombs are the same in all three. The author of the violence is an editorial decision.