A Russian frigate ran a 30-minute gunnery drill in international waters south of Plymouth on Monday, and this morning the Mirror's headline greeted readers with: "Russian warship opens fire off Plymouth coast while being shadowed by Royal Navy." * "Opens fire." No object. Opens fire at... whom? The sentence clocks off before telling you, and that's the trick — your brain autocompletes the target, and the nearest noun standing around is Plymouth. Somewhere in Devon a reader spat out their tea. * Here's what actually happened, per the Ministry of Defence — and, to be fair, per the Mirror's own third paragraph. The Russian ship told the Royal Navy patrol vessel HMS Tyne in advance that it intended to conduct gunnery activity. It then asked HMS Tyne to move to a safer distance. Then it ran its half-hour drill, in international waters, while a French military aircraft watched. This was the most courteous gunfire in the Channel this year. The warship RSVP'd its own artillery exercise. * Now compare the neighbours. The BBC's headline: "Russian warship carried out firing exercise off Plymouth coast" — the word "exercise" made it into the shop window. The Guardian: "Russian warship carries out rare live-fire exercise 45 miles off UK coast" — "rare" doing honest work, an eyebrow raised without a scream. The Mirror had the same facts and decided "exercise" belonged in the small print, after the adrenaline. * The distance got the same treatment: "just 46 miles away from the port of Plymouth." That "just" is carrying the whole horror-film score. Forty-six miles is Plymouth to Exeter and change. It is also, crucially, international water, where — per the BBC — Russian warships pass regularly and legally. * And the annoying part is there's a real story under the costume. Russian naval activity around the UK genuinely is up — Royal Marines boarded a shadow-fleet tanker in the Channel just last month, and this drill landed on Andy Burnham's first full day in Downing Street, which UK defence sources pointedly declined to call a coincidence. That story is unsettling enough told straight. If "opens fire" gets cashed in on the drill that phoned ahead and asked the Navy to stand somewhere safer, what's left in the register for the day one doesn't?