Overnight into Tuesday, something slammed into the engine room of the Minoan Pioneer — a Liberia-flagged, Greek-managed bulk carrier — about 20 nautical miles off Khasab, Oman, in the Strait of Hormuz. Fire in the accommodation block, total blackout, crew abandoned ship. The third engineer is still missing. Nobody has claimed the attack. * Hold onto that last sentence, because "nobody has claimed it" turns out to be optional information — depending entirely on which homepage you opened this morning. * Fox News went first and went hardest: "BREAKING: Iran attacks ships in Strait of Hormuz." No "reportedly." No question mark. Subject, verb, object — case closed. Meanwhile the maritime security firms actually tracking the incident were saying "unknown projectile," possibly a drone, and the UK's maritime trade agency logged it as exactly that: unknown. Fox's headline closed an investigation that nobody has opened yet. * Is Iran the obvious suspect? Of course — there's a war on, and ships keep getting hit in the same strip of water. But "obvious suspect" and "named shooter" are two different jobs, and the second one usually requires evidence. Fox's headline did the naming for free. * NBC News went the other direction: "Trump and Iran clash over Strait of Hormuz talks as cargo ship is attacked." Read that grammar again. The main event is two governments bickering about whether they're even talking. The ship — the one with an actual missing human being on it — got demoted to a subordinate clause. And note the phrasing inside that clause: "is attacked." Passive voice, attacker not included. Fox was too sure; NBC wouldn't even open the question. * France 24 ran it as a live page: "Cargo ship hit by 'unknown projectile' in Strait of Hormuz." Those quotation marks around "unknown projectile" are doing quiet, honest work — this is what's known, here's who said it, we'll get back to you. Boring? A little. Accurate? Completely. * And then there's the BBC, whose front-page Hormuz story on Tuesday was: "Oil prices fall on hopes Strait of Hormuz could reopen." Twenty-four paragraphs. Rubio saying there's "been progress made in those talks, but not finality yet." Brent crude under $80, lowest since mid-July. Number of mentions of the burning ship in the same strait, or the man missing from it: zero. The strait isn't a place in that story — it's a line on a price chart. * So: one event, four desks. Fox wrote a whodunit and skipped to the last page. NBC filed the ship as a subplot in a diplomacy story. France 24 filed a caution. The BBC filed a market ticker. The third engineer of the Minoan Pioneer is missing in all four versions — most literally in the one where he never appears at all.