Monday morning, Trump announced that the US is reinstating its blockade of Iranian ships in the Strait of Hormuz, appointing itself "THE GUARDIAN OF THE HORMUZ STRAIT," and collecting 20% on cargo passing through for the trouble. One announcement. Four wildly different headlines — and the words each outlet picked tell you exactly where they were standing. * Al Jazeera: "Trump says US will become 'guardian' of Strait of Hormuz and collect tolls." Tolls. The word you use for a booth, a barrier and a man pointing at a bucket. Bloomberg went with "Trump to Restart Iran Blockade as US Plans 20% Hormuz Charge" — a charge, something that appears on an invoice and gets disputed by your accountant. * And then there's Fox's live blog: "Trump warns Iran: Hormuz Strait will remain open, we are reinstating blockade." Read it twice. The strait will remain open. Also: blockade. That's not a headline, that's a Zen koan with a carrier group. * The key word in Trump's own version is "reimbursed" — the US will be "reimbursed, at the rate of 20% on all cargo shipped" for "providing safety and security." Lovely choice. You get reimbursed for expenses somebody agreed you should make. Nobody in the strait ordered the security. That's a man putting a chair at the end of your street, declaring the street officially open, and taking 20% of your shopping on the way past — then calling your contribution a reimbursement. * To be fair to Fox, its main headline did print the number: "Trump says US will charge 20% fee for Strait of Hormuz passage." A fee. Fees are for gyms and late library books. Tolls are what you pay to pass. There's a third word, the one Iran's side reached for, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. * CNN, meanwhile, filed the whole day under "Ceasefire disintegrates as Trump says US will reinstate blockade of Iranian ships in Strait of Hormuz." Disintegrates — the ceasefire just dissolving on its own, like a tablet in water, in the same headline as the man announcing he's ending it. Give the verb a medal for diplomacy. * Here's the part that matters: Trump made the announcement on Fox & Friends. Fox wasn't covering the toll booth — Fox was the ribbon-cutting venue. And the venue's takeaway headline was that the strait "will remain open." Al Jazeera, watching from the region that pays the 20%, headlined the part where you pay. Same booth. One outlet showed you the barrier going up; the other showed you the OPEN sign hanging on it.